Mom Life

The moment she conquered her fear

Posted by on Oct 3, 2023 in Mom Life | 1 comment

After our family Christmas photo shoot, we were driving home and stumbled upon a park driving a new route home.  We decided to check it out and let the kids get out for a bit to play on the playground.

Jalie and her Dad were on the playground.  Carlton and I stayed in the car since he was taking a nap.  (Nope, I never wake a sleeping baby.)  It was time to go and they were coming back to the car.  She was screaming as if we had kidnapped her and wanted to alert everyone that she was in danger. 

She would NOT get into the car. Jalie did NOT want to leave.  She was adamant about not leaving.  This time seemed different from the other times that we would leave the park.  We couldn’t figure out why she was so upset. Trying to calm her down was not working.  Bribes were not working.  She would not stop crying.  We had to have been on that lot for at least 20 minutes.

I found out that Jalie was having a hard time going up the play structure. My husband shared with me that she wanted to go down the big slide, but there were a couple of kids that were near the obstacle that gets you to the top of the slide. She would not go up to come down the slide after many attempts trying.  Some of the kids kept passing her by, making her want to enjoy the slide for herself.

After another 10-15 minutes of trying to get into the car, everyone is frustrated and out of sorts. Charlie said he wanted to go use the restroom and that he would be right back.  While he was gone, I talked to Jalie.  Through the tears and her frustration, she was trying to tell me something.  She did not know the exact words, but she was trying to figure it out.  She kept making gestures, trying to figure out how to say what she was feeling and what she wanted as she stood there crying. 

I finally asked, “you want to go down the slide? “Yes!” she said with tears. And I thought, as Charlie was approaching us, she just wants to conquer her fear.  Leaving would take away her opportunity to give it another try.  She was merely trying to communicate that to us, but didn’t know how.

This is Jalie just after she went down the slide!

As he approached, Charlie said, “I’m gonna take her back to the slide.”  And I was all for it!  They went back over to the playground.  Jalie climbed up the structure with encouragement.  Even from the other kids!  They saw her approaching, ready to give it another shot!  They kept saying, “you can do it!” When she came down, all of the kids were cheering her on!

When she came back, she said, “Mommy I did it!!” We high fived and celebrated!

I’m thankful we did not force her to get into the car.  I can’t imagine how she would have felt had we left and not tried one more time.

I’m so proud of her.

My biggest takeaways:

  1. I’m glad that we didn’t force her to just get in the car.
  2. Sometimes our children do not know how to say what they want to say.
  3. I’m happy she wanted to conquer her fear.
  4. She “spoke” up for herself in her own way!

Has there been a moment where you could have taken a second to see what someone was really trying to say?

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Posted by on Jan 8, 2022 in Life Life, Mom Life | 5 comments

2018 was the year that I had my #clothesupchallenge. Yes, you read that right, “My Clothes UP Challenge.”  It was after I had my daughter. I was not confident in myself. Confidence was a struggle that I had since I was a little girl.  I did not like how I dressed.  I felt like I had no style.  Let’s be honest. I did NOT have style!  I made one of the longest posts on Facebook that I had ever made in my life.  I made it on Facebook so that it could be an accountability situation making it public.  However, I did not have the guts to do it on Instagram to complete strangers who would judge me and my mission.  Although, in my post, I did express how I did not care what people thought and said, I was not ready for the IG trolls that would probably come with it.

In my post, my challenge was to essentially “dress better.”  I would be intentional with my outfits. I declared that I would wear heels more often, accessorize, wear makeup and wear my hair in different styles.  Yes, I did complete my challenge the 365 days of 2018.  Did I succeed?  I would say that I passed AND failed.  I was indeed intentional with choosing my daily outfits.  Unfortunately, I did not really wear makeup.  I wore my hair like I usually do, down or in a ponytail.  Accessories, nope, not really.  I put too much on myself trying to add those things all at once.

I did learn SO MUCH that year.  Here are the main takeaways.

  1. I was not the only person who felt the way I did about myself.  Family and friends privately shared that they felt the same way about themselves and I had NO CLUE. Child, you are not alone!
  2. People were not aware that I felt the way that I did about myself.
  3. I was wearing the WRONG size clothes.
  4. I did not wear much color.
  5. Quite a few people did not like a pair of flats that I wore a lot. They were my crutch!!
  6. My cousin hated that I wore a particular pair of boots ALL THE TIME. Another crutch! lol
  7. Stylists have a gift and we should allow them to help us without shame.
  8. My daughter watched me every day and always smiled.

Are there challenges in life that you are experiencing others may not be aware of?

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