2018 was the year that I had my #clothesupchallenge. Yes, you read that right, “My Clothes UP Challenge.”  It was after I had my daughter. I was not confident in myself. Confidence was a struggle that I had since I was a little girl.  I did not like how I dressed.  I felt like I had no style.  Let’s be honest. I did NOT have style!  I made one of the longest posts on Facebook that I had ever made in my life.  I made it on Facebook so that it could be an accountability situation making it public.  However, I did not have the guts to do it on Instagram to complete strangers who would judge me and my mission.  Although, in my post, I did express how I did not care what people thought and said, I was not ready for the IG trolls that would probably come with it.

In my post, my challenge was to essentially “dress better.”  I would be intentional with my outfits. I declared that I would wear heels more often, accessorize, wear makeup and wear my hair in different styles.  Yes, I did complete my challenge the 365 days of 2018.  Did I succeed?  I would say that I passed AND failed.  I was indeed intentional with choosing my daily outfits.  Unfortunately, I did not really wear makeup.  I wore my hair like I usually do, down or in a ponytail.  Accessories, nope, not really.  I put too much on myself trying to add those things all at once.

I did learn SO MUCH that year.  Here are the main takeaways.

  1. I was not the only person who felt the way I did about myself.  Family and friends privately shared that they felt the same way about themselves and I had NO CLUE. Child, you are not alone!
  2. People were not aware that I felt the way that I did about myself.
  3. I was wearing the WRONG size clothes.
  4. I did not wear much color.
  5. Quite a few people did not like a pair of flats that I wore a lot. They were my crutch!!
  6. My cousin hated that I wore a particular pair of boots ALL THE TIME. Another crutch! lol
  7. Stylists have a gift and we should allow them to help us without shame.
  8. My daughter watched me every day and always smiled.

Are there challenges in life that you are experiencing others may not be aware of?


  1. I’ve always felt challenged to get everything done and since becoming a mom that has been magnetized. Now it’s make sure everyone is okay and get everything done. I struggle to find time for myself.

    PS. Proud of you for starting this. Sharing your experiences will be cathartic for you and you’ll help others along the way. Way to go! Excited to read everything you have to share ❤️

  2. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your world.

  3. I am so proud of you and to know you! I struggle with fear every day and most days I let it win. Not this year. So I am happy to see you are defeating fear. That is my goal this year as well. Keep writing and sharing. If anything, you’ll have this reader! Get it girl! Love ya!

  4. So proud of you everyone will b telling their story AMEN

  5. You are a true blessing Jey. Sharing your truth sets you and your mind free.

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